So can writers find a way to open readers up a little more? I found a couple of studies where women were asked what they fantasize about and the results were similar so I complied them for you. As women start to open up more about their sexual desires, maybe it will be easier to incorporate their popular fantasies into romantic fiction. Funny side note: When men were asked what women fantasize about overwhelmingly their answers involve long walks on the beach, flowers and slow loving sex. While woman like these as well, they also have sexual fantasies just as wild as men do. So next time you're thinking sexual thoughts, feel free to share them with your partner.... or your favorite authors. *wink wink*
Number 10: Strangers in the night
Many women relish the idea of meeting up with a mystery man and going to some no-name motel for a wild night of uninhibited sex. This exists in many romance novels in all forms, but most commonly a girl meets a guy in a bar and they leave together.
Number 9: Group Sex
Group sex is a popular one among the ladies, but it's not used very often in romance novels. Generally contemporary romance and even new erotica typically consist of one man and on woman at a time. There are often multiple partners through the book, but not in the same scene. In the real world fantasy women say, "The freedom of being nude in front of a bunch of people who are equally exposed, allowing different men and women to touch and penetrate your body simultaneously is incredibly erotic."
Number 8: Who's your daddy?
If there's one thing that women are dying to do, it's dominate a man like never before. The creative ideas that flowed from this topic were quite interesting, to say the least. They included: spanking him, ordering him to perform certain sexual acts, making him beg for what he wants, and having him suck on their stiletto heels or some other phallic object. These are playful games that appear in a lot of erotica novels that are quite popular. The idea of dominating one's partner is always a tempting undercurrent in steamy sexual tension.
In today's world of confident women, I was not surprised to learn that many of women fantasize about having an audience whilst engaging in sexual acts with a partner. They say that the idea of knowing that others are getting excited by their "performance" provides them with a feeling of empowerment. I consider this expositionism and voyeurism incredibly erotic and not used enough to incite romance. Maybe that's just my own fantasies clogging my view, but this form of empowerment is less harmful to self-esteem in the aftermath of the moment and it's an intriguing observation of a primal instinct that many mammals share. It is used in romance and erotica, but not as well as it could be.
Number 6: Be her teacher
Although most women agreed that they fantasize about having a master, their role in the scenario differed. Whereas some women said that they'd surrender to their master's demands, others opposed the idea and said that they would resist and disobey his commands. This is a mixed response that is as diverse as the options in romance books. It is too common that the male is teaching the female to submit to him after Fifty Shades made it so hot. It is a great fantasy, but one I think has gotten old. There are other ways an alpha male can control the situation and there are a million lessons that many females could teach their partners as well.
Number 5: Three's company
Ah yes, the Holy Grail. One guy and 2 woman. This one gets complicated reactions from readers who wouldn't dare to to this in real life, yet virtually every woman is willing share her body with another woman at least in a fantasy. So why isn't it used more in romance novels to evoke a little wetness from the reader? Many times a reader imagines what is in a book as if it is real. They live and breath the characters, therefore if there is a situation they would never partake in in real life, it can backfire on an author. It's safe in their heads as they close their eyes, but on a page it becomes too real. A woman in a recent study said, "the idea of touching another soft, hairless body and softly sucking her tongue, amongst other things, seems very erotic." The irony to this scenario is that most women preferred the man in the fantasy to just watch and not participate. The trouble with this is that once there are lesbian scenes in a book it usually is labeled LGBT and put into a separate category.
Number 4: Leave a good tip
Keeping in mind that the women interviewed in these studies are professionals with commendable careers, some of them fantasized about being strippers, while others took things a step further and imagined being prostitutes. Obviously, the fantasy is romanticized beyond belief because the life of either is not so glamorous that women would opt to have it as a career choice. One woman said, "In my fantasy, while I'm performing a lap dance for my customer, he hands me a $100 bill and requests that I perform the lap dance... minus his pants." Another woman said, "The gentleman would pick me up in his expensive car and I would ride him in the driver's seat in some dingy back alley. He would pay me my fee and I'd be on my way."
In erotica you will see occasional stripping stories but the prostitution is generally frowned on as women see it as degrading more than sexy and these books are supposed to generate self worth and satisfaction for their sexual appetites.
Number 3: Two men at once
It seems it's not only men who fantasize about 2 others. Woman fantasize about 2 men at once too! Some women wanted a more gentle erotic scene, while the rare few wanted with double penetration fantasies. One of the most interesting statements regarding two men was having one penetrate her while the other licked her clitoris. It sounds virtually impossible (especially if the guys are not bisexual), but nevertheless intriguing. Other interesting ones included having one guy inside of her from behind while she gave the other one oral sex. One woman fantasized about two guys performing cunnilingus simultaneously on her or having one guy perform oral sex on her while the other sucked on her breasts. While another woman made no secret of the fact that she wants to be nasty and do all the taboo things that most women would find degrading. She fantasizes about being penetrated from both the anus and the vagina, having the guys release their loads all over her, and craziest of all; she wants to be blindfolded during it.
Do we see this in romance. No. Erotica, rarely. There may be two leading heroes in these books, but rarely do they take the heroine at the same time.
Number 2: Strap-on party
I was surprised that this was the 2nd most popular fantasy women have. They would like to act and dress up like a man -- straight down to the genitals and wear a strap-on penis. One woman actually had the opportunity to fulfill her fantasy and took full advantage of her boyfriend's willingness. "It was absolutely incredible to be able to penetrate a man and feel the empowerment usually associated with being the aggressor. There's something about having a man in a vulnerable position that is an incredible turn-on. The idea of knowing that we're in the position that is usually assumed by men is probably the biggest aphrodisiac of all.
Is this in romance? No. Erotica, none that I've read in the mainstream... maybe there are fetish stories out there, but they aren't being published by the authors I've read and followed.
Number 1: Rape Fantasy!
Although a rape sex fantasy sounds somewhat unthinkable, that's exactly what most women call it. They want to play the innocent, naive, unknowing little girl who gets taken advantage of by the devious, predator-like man. Forcibly pushing her against the wall and. "...Pinning my arms above my head with one hand while the other hand has made its way under my skirt and is fondling my vagina," received nods of approval by all the women in the room. One woman went even further expecting the man to, "Rip off my clothes, force open my legs, penetrate me, and concurrently smear my lipstick all over my face with his forceful kiss."
So how about this one? Well, if you're a woman, you know this one exists in some form or another in many romance and erotica novels in a form of dominance play. It may not be an actual rape, but many elements of the control aspects in a rape scenario play out in novels all the time. Flat out rape, where the female really doesn't want it and is unwilling are never acceptable though. It's a fine line between acceptable force and rape. Often times when a character does get "taken" by a man there are pages devoted to how badly she really wants him anyway, or how upset and apologetic the man is after he lost control from her overwhelming beauty.
The one thing that is clear... I've included most of these situations in my books because they are hot. There wasn't actually two men on Monica Waters, but she thought about it for a few seconds. And that stranger breaking in was the same one who took her. Fantasies are about letting go, and Monica Waters has very little trouble doing just that. You go girl!
Check out A.L. Goulden's profile on GoodReads and pick up her latest book August Fog available at most eBooksellers. Be sure to look for December Rain, book #2 in the Fog Series November 25, 2014.
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