1. She's Playful - Women who take themselves too seriously are seriously not sexy. There’s something about a woman who is comfortable enough to be playful, flirty, and not worry that she is risking her reputation. Please don’t confuse playful with silly. Silly women who are clowning for attention are vexing. In fact, one man suggested that playfulness is a great sign of maturity – a woman who loves life and isn’t ashamed to show it.
2. She Has Confidence - This one isn't that shocking, but it's the key to everything ladies. If you aren't naturally feeling it, take some time to find ways to boost it. Maybe those people you're around aren't helping or maybe it's you... but working on finding ways to realize your own worth and beauty is the most important investment you can make in YOU! Embrace yourself and men will too.
Justin Rocket Silverman, writer for Esquire Magazine wrote: "When I report on Fashion Week in New York. At first the presence of so many women (often, naked backstage) is intoxicating. But it doesn’t last long. As soon as it becomes familiar, it stops being so irresistibly sexy. That’s where all this confidence stuff really comes into play." He then went on and on in his piece about drooling over plus-side model Robyn Lawley and how her confident curves were infinitely more interesting than the other woman backstage.
3. Less Make-Up, But Not None - This one is tricky, but the study by The Quarterly Journal of Experimental Psychology found that men consistently chose women with less make-up on as sexier than women chose in their study. So chances are, the amount of make-up you think he wants is a little more than necessary. However all of those feminist friendly blogs that told you he prefers NO make-up were probably fooling you or focusing on a specific hippie demographic, because in the broad spectrum study men did chose women with some make-up over those without any, preferring a little mascara and most popularly red lipstick.
4. Maturity Towards Sex - This topic takes a number of turns in various studies, but men consistently want women who could talk about sex openly, take control with what they want in bed, and don't fake it.
5. Women Who Like Men and Try To Understand Them - This theme repeats in different forms as well, but a woman who doesn't bash men or spend time picking apart what is wrong with the way he thinks or feels is a big factor in sex appeal. Men are more likely to be attracted to women who have just a touch of tomboy-ish qualities too, such as those who like watching sports or action films, or women who appreciate their hobbies.
7. Willingness To Set Aside Fear - It isn’t being fearless that is sexy. It’s having the fear, feeling the fear, and saying, “I’m going to set this aside and go forward anyway.” That woman is sexy. She is truly living life. She is going to suffer some failures along the way, but men will be chasing her and asking for her number the whole way.
8. She's A Great Kisser - This is something men and women have in common. Unfortunately there is no one type of kisser, so finding someone you connect well on the same kissing level is key. I thought this one was fun because I usually think of kissing as being higher on a woman's list... we're really not that different after all. That Mars Venus crap can take a hike. ;)
9. She Likes To Laugh (At His Jokes) - This one surprised me a little until I thought about every guy I've ever known who said they loved a sense of humor, but really felt threatened if I was way funnier than him. Humor often comes up as a valuable trait, but it can be misleading. Turns out when men are being honest they aren’t interested in women who crack jokes every other sentence. In fact, when he says he wants a woman with a great sense of humor he’s usually saying “I want a woman who thinks I’m funny.” Not surprisingly, when she does think he’s funny and laughs out loud he finds that very sexy. That boils down to the male ego and what is important to them. Since we also have egos as women, it's important to appreciate and handle their needs with care. However, if you're a funny bitch, don't hold back, the right man will be able to appreciate your point of view.
10. Sexy Voice - This one is a given for women, but apparently it scores pretty high on the sexy radar for men too. Men state that there is nothing like the sultry voice of a woman. It can stimulate his body and elevate his soul. Some women naturally have what it takes to draw his body, mind and spirit toward her. Many men report that there is something about a woman’s breathiness; a voice which is accompanied by the audible passage of breath; and lacks resonance that makes it appealing. Breathiness comes from air whistling through a gap at the back of the vocal cords. The gap is larger in women, giving them a breathier voice. Men might find a super-breathy voice sexy because it accentuates this naturally female trait," said Harvard psychologist David Feinberg. This explains just one of Marilyn Monroe's sexy qualities that drove men wild.
Again, this isn’t about changing your voice but using it correctly. There are little things in life that make the hair on a man’s back raise with excitement and a woman’s voice is one of them. Mastering the art of the seductive voice takes time so don’t focus on it too much.
This list leaves out the obvious things that we sadly talk about too much: beauty (whatever that means to each man), breasts (some like big, some like small, they ALL like them), woman that treats him like a King (that ego feeding again), messy hair (just fucked look is popular), full even lips (general consensus but not a deal breaker for men), the way women smell, ample tush, long legs, and we could go on and on... but I find the deeper items that resonate with men more interesting.
Check out A.L. Goulden's profile on GoodReads and pick up her latest book August Fog available at most eBooksellers. Look for December Rain, (#2 The Fog Series) Released November 24, 2014.
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